Friday, November 20, 2015

The Teenager and his room...

Every so often he "cleans up" his move stuff out that I carefully put in boxes and put into his closet.  The books that I lovingly kept in his bookcase that were his childhood books...his lego sets...moving them out of his room...

He has gotten quite a collection started, and he needs room for display...and last night he asked to use my phone to take some that he could post them on the online forum he is part of (what that forum is...I don't know...) (asking if he wants to write a met with a "nah")  (he is on-line, but not really on Facebook....)

A glimpse at my teenager...the first photo is of Michael on Halloween night, looking at his candy...

I got him the small display cabinet...when he started this collection...

Models he has worked on and painted.

Collection of Don Post masks and other horribles...

As a mom, I note the lack of clothes on the hangers...the clothes are usually stuffed in drawers or in the laundry basket...

Also, I did originally get this bookcase for his large collection of books...which are stacked on the floor...sort of neatly...

Hmmm...Freaks is mine...Lost World is mine...I kid, they are his now...


Monday, November 16, 2015

#MicrogblogMonday - Writing

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I almost went to bed.  No one else is up (well, the boy might be up, I thought I heard footsteps up there...but it could have been one of the cats--they are noisy at night!)

I have wanted to write this post last week--but did not find the time.  And now, I pushed myself...because it is what #Microblog is all about--trying to get yourself to write something...anything in the space you call your writing home...

Both my kids have shown talent when it comes to writing.

I think for Michael it is a great way for him to express himself.  He doesn't show it too often, but the emotions and the thoughts that he will bring to a ATL essay or a movie review--they are brilliant.  I wish he would tap into that more often...although, just like the footsteps I thought I heard--I think he does this thoughtful writing on the forums about horror movies and aurora models.  For someone who has a hard time expressing himself socially, the written word is power.  I hope he starts to understand that power as he grows to adulthood.

Willow...the imagination and wonder, her inventiveness and spark of...just is just so evident in her writing...

Sentences she came up with for vocabulary words (underlined); misspelling  in Second Grade writings are excused as they are learning the FORM of long as they get the vocab words correct...

And this tells you what we were doing the weekend before last--camping at Girl Scout Camp!  (She had fun...I found it...not as fun...)

One of my favorite things in Second Grade so far--they have Friday Journals.  The child writes a journal entry about whatever they want to write about...usually the weeks events.  The "homework" is for the parent to read what they wrote--and write back to them in the journal.  I so wish they had done this when Michael was in elementary school.  I love the fact that I get to see into my daughter's world at school...and I get to write back to her and let her know what I think about her.

One entry a few weeks back was more than just a writing exercise...Willow had a bad day.  She wrote about how bad she felt and basically put on the drama thick ("its the worst day ever!" and "I hate being seven!").  She described an incident in school (she stuck her pencil in the pencil sharpener--because it was too small and the teacher had told everyone not to sharpen too short pencils...).  It was such a mournful, sad paragraph.  So sad, that the teacher wrote back to her...with the sweetest note about how things were solved (the pencil was extricated) and how yes, it can be tough to be seven years old, but hopefully she will begin to like second grade, etc.  It was reassurance and strength that Willow needed...the next day of school...was "the best day!"

Friday, October 23, 2015


Looking at his yearbook, the one he just got, the one for last year.  The one that is not like a "typical" yearbook.  Entries that include students who barely speak, whose entries state so-and-so has "made progress this year in socialization".  Teachers and therapists and counselors.

I try to reconcile my child with this.  He is not like " them".  But he is not "typical" either.  He is quirky and different, but not so obvious...but yet he can be.  He is not defined by his Aspergers.  Yet, in the last few years, he has been.

It has taken me a long time to even consider myself a "special needs mom".  I cannot see myself as one most of the time, just like it is hard for me to reconcile my son to being a part of this private school community.  A community that he needs, that he is doing so much better with.  That is there for his needs....but...I sometimes look at things like the yearbook...and see the mirror image...the distant image of " typical" and "normal".  I sometimes long for it.

And then...I look at how much this change..this school and its special accommodations have helped him so much in the last year.  How much he was suffering at the " normal" school.  And I stop myself from longing for something that was only an illusion anyway.

We are all on our own paths in life.  My son's path may be harder than most, but is it also being forged well and with care.  It was not the path any of us chose, but it is the path we are we damned well should make it the best way we can.

Monday, October 12, 2015

#MicroBlogMonday: Doing The Time Warp Again...

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This weekend has been back and forth in time...

A few weekends ago, we cleaned out my mom's apartment.  Amongst her stuff, were two videos we had made for her of Michael. Saturday, I popped one into the only videotape machine in the house...and was reintroduced to my four year old son.  My pre-labeled, pre-tested, pre-teenager son.  My gosh, how damned cute, so different, yet, the same, yet innocent.  Michael watched some of it...and marveled over toys he remembered. It was awesome.  I will have to convert these digitally.

Later, on Sunday...Willow and I had a discussion I was hoping to avoid one more year.  But, it seems that she has reached another milestone... Santa has been revealed.  Now, I have no children to enchant this year.  I was sad at the time, but actually, feel a bit fine with it and hope to make her holidays still fun for her.  (I told her not to tell other kids...and she revealed that she had entreated all children about her previous discovery about the Tooth Fairy, but promised not to do so about Santa...with a why? Question before agreeing...).

The end of Sunday found us listening to the Time Warp as we drove two hours to visit a small, but special little horror movie musuem in Connecticut.  A place Michael discovered, and it was awesome!

Now, I am typing this on my phone in a motel room...tomorrow dawning...a Museum we have visited a few times before in our future.  I think the first time we visited it was when Michael was...four years old.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Small Moments

A few moments recently have made me sigh with happiness...

We started a new routine in the morning with her--she needs to eat her breakfast at the kitchen table before she can watch any cartoons.  As I rush past, I hear them and see her smile.  I have seen him sitting with her in the kitchen as she is eating her breakfast, and they are talking.   She is chipper and he is gentle with her.  This morning I saw him making faces and being silly--actually causing the same issue we had before--she was too mesmerized to eat!  I admonish him just a little.  Because I want this to continue.  This time, the small time, where each is enjoying the company at the table, the eye of the storm of the rush of the morning.   Time with dad.  

Two nights in a row, the teenager has deemed it okay to come down and initiate contact with the adults...playing a board game that he had sent away for an old and battered, monster-related (so a must have for his collection) game.  So far dad has won three games.  We need to play more games, on a school night.  With the boy who smiles.


Monday, September 21, 2015

#MicroblogMonday - Ch--ch-anges

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So, the roller coaster of our lives the past few years has continued onto another turn. (does anyone have the theme from the Great Space Coaster floating in their head when I say roller coaster?  just me? )

Chewy has gotten a new job opportunity that starts next week.  Willow started 2nd Grade and I got a raise and it seems more responsibilities...all within the last two weeks!

Meanwhile, Michael (and us for that matter) continue getting used to his new school.

Between juggling these new changes to our routines, we have the inevitable march of time--autumn is coming!

Luckily, Autumn in New England is beautiful, and while the past few years I have been more than a little depressed to find summer has been fleeting, I am starting to get that feeling for fall again.
Starting to look for those changing leaves and cooler mornings and evenings.

So, with a little trepidation to the future and what it can (and cannot) bring...I look towards the new changes. Photobucket

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

#MicroblogMonday (Tuesday): What is it like

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What is it like?  I wonder and hope that I understand him.

I know what it is like to be a teenager

Out of control/In control

Knowing all and being smug

Knowing nothing and being scared

But his mind

I do not know what I think I know

He "doesn't know" either

Last night, frustration over a small thing

Erupts into a small (for him)

Big (for others) Tantrum

How does this work?

This Asperger thing?

Why and how and where

I clean up part of the mess (new carpet!)

He storms downstairs, still not calm

I talk calm but firm

(He will have to clean up the rest of the mess)

The mess that was a cause/consequence of his frustrations

He goes upstairs to his room again

Glaring is something he does well


Calm and cleaning up

This is my son

I worry about him

I know he will be fine

This smart/sad/frustrated/anxiety-bomb of a teenager

This wonderfully funny/frustrating/child of mine.

What will he be like in five years?

(I don't know)